A FEW THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND AND HEART AS YOU APPROACH THE CEREMONY:
* Stay focused on LOVE! I’m sure there’s a lot to “do,” and just keep in mind why you’re doing it all – to share your love.
* Consider taking 5 minutes each day before the ceremony to really connect with one another. Tell each other why you love each other – today – in this moment.
* Maintain gratitude. You get to “do” all of this because you’re sharing love with each other and declaring it to the world around you. Whatever happens in the planning, keep this bigger picture in mind and you’ll get through “snafu’s” with a lot more grace and joy.
* Before the ceremony, practice putting the rings on each other (or pretend that you are putting on rings if you want to keep the rings special for your ceremony). During the excitement of the ceremony people often forget right and left, and having practiced ahead of time will give you some body-memory.
THE DAY OF THE CEREMONY:
* Know that everything will be wonderful – and that even though things unexpected always happen, everything will be wonderful! Again, maintain an attitude of gratitude.
* A mix of excitement, nervousness and even numbness from how “big” this all may seem is normal. Consider staying focused on being present to all the feelings you have as you approach the ceremony. Even a little bit of alcohol can pull you away from your special day. Well meaning buddies or catering staff may offer you a beer or wine. Consider saving that for celebrating after the ceremony. If you are nervous, instead of drinking, sit and take deep breaths for a minute or two. Deep breathing neurologically triggers the body’s nervous system to relax. It’s extremely effective.
DURING THE CEREMONY:
* Try to let go of everything you’ve “done” to get here or how things “should” go during the ceremony. I’m there to hold that. You just relax and enjoy the moment.
* Remember that everyone who is there cares about you. You can do no wrong. Together we create a loving space in which you declare your commitment to one another. Relax into the loving attention being showered upon you.
* Keep breathing and feeling your feet on the ground. Both are very calming and grounding, and will help keep you present.
* If you are repeating vows after me, just hold hands, look into each others’ eyes, and repeat after me. I will hold a microphone in front of you. The natural inclination is to reach out to hold the microphone, or to look at me in order to better “hear” the words you’re going to repeat. But you can just focus on each other. I will feed you short phrases that will be easy to repeat. Just stay focused on the meaning of the words.
* If you get teary eyes, or it becomes challenging to speak through strong emotions – it’s ok. This is a very special moment in life – big emotions are to be expected. Just take your time, breathe, and move on when it’s time. We’ll wait for you!
* Tell me or one of your primary attendants what you need. If you need a tissue, or a drink of water, or to go to the bathroom, or to sit down – just say so. It’s all ok.