Robert Pileggi, LCSW Rotating Header Image

March, 2012:

Connection and Kindness are Always “Here”

I can access a sense of connection and loving kindness any time I choose.

Whether or not I’m with anyone; or feeling like there’s anyone loving me – I can access loving kindness from within.  And I can reach out to others I want to express loving kindness to.


The End of Conditional Love is Within

The love is within. It’s not conditional.

So many of us grew up thinking that love was conditional. On our good behavior. On our doing good for others. on us not “causing trouble.” Sometimes even on our just being invisible – because being visible felt like it made us a target for un-love.


Stop the Beeps: Start to Focus

Phones ringing. Beeping with tweets. Tweeking with texts. Computers flashing ads. Buses with marketing. Facebook updates like 1000 per minute.

No wonder so many people have trouble focusing. Or feel hyper. Or stressed.  Or anxious. Attention is constantly being pulled in this direction and that. Constantly. Even by other peoples beeps and dings and makarenas. And it’s tiring.

Here are some things that I think will help make the world a more peaceful place to be. And more productive. (more…)

Stuck on the Cliff? Or Measuring the Leap?

Someone described to me his predicament: “I feel like I’m stuck at the edge of a cliff. I know who I am, but I’m afraid to leap in to more fully expressing myself because I don’t want to leave behind what I have now. Going back doesn’t feel good. Going forward doesn’t feel good. So I’m stuck here in pain.”

My response to him and to others who feel similarly, refers to another perspective:


How Do I Choose when Life is a Banquet?

On Choosing: Life is Like a Banquet
(Or, how do I end this feeling of overwhelm and scattered-ness from all these possibilities?)

By Bob Pileggi (c) 3/7/12 (Draft)

Download PDF.

My client started off by saying he felt scattered. “There are so many things to choose from – I feel scattered.” He went on to describe all the “things” available to him – starting a support group for people who want to enter his profession; doing a charity ride; being a part of a community garden; starting a masters degree program; exploring a newly discovered passion. And the list went on. But as he talked he also indicated that his current work, his relationship, and his creative self-expression were already taking time and attention, and really important to him.

I reflected back to him that it sounded like he had a big dinner plate in front of him… (more…)

Readings: by Whom?

Who do we ask to do a reading?

Whoever you want. Sure, consider folks who you think will be comfortable speaking in front of others. But it is also an act of love to invite someone to be a part of your ceremony. So let that expression of caring trump how well you think someone will read.

Consider inviting folks from each side of the family to do a reading. Or choose a longer reading that can be split in half, with two people reading. Or, for adventurous folks, consider a back-and-forth reading between two people who take turns reading stanzas of a poem, for example. Certainly makes the experience more unusual and interesting!

To Read or Not To Read, and How Many?!

Readings can be a helpful addition to a wedding ceremony. I invite couples to consider choosing readings that:

  • represent some aspect of their relationship;
  • that inspire them; or
  • that they aspire to.

This widens the breadth of selections! I’ve had couples use passages from Dr. Seuss, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings. And beautifully representing their life and loves in this way.

So if you want to have a reading, make it mean something.

And if it’s two or three things that are meaningful to you, it’s likely to be meaningful and interesting for your guests.

Living at the Edge of Our Bubble

Protective Bubble

We relate to one another through our protective bubbles.

We create a protective bubble around ourselves. That bubble helps us survive and navigate the world. But it also becomes an inhibitor to experiencing what really is in the world, because what we end up experiencing is always through the filter of our bubble. The true experience, therefore, is influenced by our bubble.

Interestingly, the bubble keeps us from fully experiencing ourselves, as well.


Laughter Yoga: Saturday Morning Smiling

Jennifer’s posting about laughter yoga on her blog: Flotation Devices: Staying Afloat by Finding the Flow

“…just an hour of ho, ho, ha-ha-ha’ing and laughing without reason opened me up from my core to my head….I felt all kinds of wonderful pops and cracks throughout my spine and neck as the muscles around them relaxed and warmed up. For someone so intrigued by pranayama practice, I was thrilled to work with the breath in such a unique way–standing and moving and laughing–not necessarily sitting in lotus pose and doing ujayii breath for 20 minutes straight.”

Read the full posting here:

Laughter Yoga: Lessons in LOLing

Jennifer says:

“I took one of his classes back in October, and the effects were immediate. It’s no secret that taking in more oxygen makes you feel good, and that’s the whole point of Laughter Yoga: to loosen up, open the lungs, work the diaphragm, and BREATHE!”

“Bob always starts class by asking us to check in with our bodies and mind, to list on a scale of 0 to 10 how present and open we feel. I came into class as a 3 and just an hour and 15 minutes later was boosted to an 8.”

Check out her full posting here: