Spiritual Practices

“A Call to Awareness” by Bob Pileggi © 2011

You may have traveled the world.
Can you go into the depths of your heart?
You may have climbed mountains.
Are you at peace being right where you are?
You may have cleaned out your inbox and marked off all your “to do” list.
Did you notice the miracle of the breath you just took?
You may have earned more money than you could have dreamed of.
Can you look poverty in the eye with compassion?
You may have a few thousand facebook friends.
Can you look one of them in the eye and be completely at ease?
You may have been married for 25 years.
Do you truly share your lives?
Travels, money, things you do, people you know…
They build a life of experiences.
And all lead to only one time and place. Here and now.
So, I ask – not out of challenge or judgment – but as a call to awareness –
Not because of your experiences – but rather through them -
can you sit with yourself, here and now, and choose love?

PRACTICE: Give your body 10 conscious breaths. With each breath, choose one thing to be grateful for.

“I have to work late.”

I hear clients say that when they tell me they’re intending to cancel a session.

And I wonder – do you really “have” to work late? Or are you just letting someone else’s desire or request come before your personal health?

And I wonder this authentically. I used to tell myself “I have to work late” all the time when I worked for non-profit organizations. “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done…we’re short staffed and I have to help…only just this once…if I say ‘no thanks’ will my boss fire me?” The versions of “I have to work late” are many.  Ah, to think of all the missed dinners with friends; the missed sunsets; the missed times with my partner. One can not re-do, so I do not regret as much as use those experiences as motivation to not make the same choice again.

My practice (and suggestion) is:

1. Take full responsibility for my action. “I am choosing to work late instead of honoring my appointment with ______ .” (Even if a boss is asking or telling me to work late, it’s still my choice.)

2. Consciously consider my decision. Ask myself: “Do I really need to work late?” (And sometimes, yes, it can make life better for me and others if I work late.)

3. Consider the value I have on my Life as I choose whether or not to work or to honor some other part of my life. “Does working late honor my Life?”

Work may be deeply meaningful or enjoyable.

AND there are other aspects to being alive – like caring for the body/mind/heart/spirit, nurturing relationships, honoring commitments to others and to our own healing.

Practice: Next time you are about to say, “I have to work late,” say to yourself:

1. I am choosing to work late.
2. Do I really need to work late?
3. Does working late honor and value my Life?

Then make a fully responsible, empowered decision about the next right action.

There is never enough. There’s no such thing as “enough.” There is only what is. There is only how I’m being and what I’m doing in any one moment (and it’s even questionable as to whether or not those are two different things).

I withhold pleasures of life – awaiting a time when I’ve done “enough” work or am good “enough” to deserve them.

The sensuality of an evening walk in the setting sun and breeze. A job more to my liking. Life partners. What have I given up in lieu of waiting for “enough”? Perhaps you, too?

As long as I’m believing there is such a thing as “enough,” it will never arrive.

So how can I be but receptive to love now? And  what can I do but be here now?

This is the gift of Life – we can always hit the “reset” button on the way we’re thinking. Consider changing your thinking – not to “I am enough” or “I have enough” or “I’m good enough”…rather, to “I am.” Period. “I am – and therefore I get to experience all that life offers. Now.”

Practice: The next time you notice yourself exhausted from working late, or you notice you’re avoiding talking to someone, or know that you’re eating too much…whatever your way of avoiding the present moment is…the next time you realize it – explore your thinking. Are you thinking that you are “not enough”?  Stop what you’re doing. Breathe a few times, and just say to yourself, “I am…here.”

When you pass on from life in this body, and people gather to remember you and what they learned from you being in their life, what will they say?

That can be a challenging question to seriously consider – we generally want to avoid the idea. But being honestly aware of it can inspire the way we live. Perhaps we’ll appreciate the moment more, consider sharing more love than hate or gossip, and maybe help others more often.

I performed a memorial service today for someone who was gay, HIV positive, had cancer, and who spent time in homeless shelters and assisted living. What did people remember? That he was joyful, grateful, and helping others all the time. That’s the light he shared with people. He didn’t get caught in the small stuff – he focused on what he wanted to make of his life as much as possible – what he enjoyed and being able to help others.

So what are you focusing on?

What does your presence inspire in other people?

Practice: Journal for a few minutes on the kinds of things you want people to be able to say about your life at your own memorial. Then make some notes about how you want to be living your life now, or things you can be doing, that would create those comments.

A friend said to me: “I’m not very creative, which is why I’m a medical analyst.”

And I thought – you are very creative. Consider all the words you put together to speak  a message to me. Or the food you put together to eat. Oh – and look at how you keep putting one foot in front of another to create a journey. Fancy that.

Every one of us is extremely creative.

How that creativity gets expressed in the world – that’s a different story. Some of us create paintings. Some of us create food. Some of us create families. Some of us create medical analyzations.

And what’s more, even when we’re not “doing” something, we’re still creating through our perspective. Yes, what we experience in the world is dependent on how we interpret the stimuli around us. And we are constantly creating interpretations of that stimuli. The more aware we are of that, and what our interpretations are, the more we can consciously create a life we want.

And it’s all important. It’s all a part of the expression of life energy uniquely through us a individuals, which all fits together in an amazingly complex and poetic mosaic of creation we call “Life.”

Go forth and create. Consciously.

Practice: While you are doing an every-day task, bring some consciousness to it and notice what you are creating. Keep finishing the statement, “I am creating…”. For example, while brushing your teeth: “I am creating clean teeth. I am creating vibration. I am creating white foam. I am creating fresh breath…”

Practice: Choose a challenging instance in your life. Take 5 minutes to journal about how you create an experience around it. For example, “When he cut me off in traffic,  I created frustration because I thought he should have been more careful. I created the idea that he should have done something other than he did. I created…”

Good – bad, pleasant – unpleasant, right – wrong, happy – sad… Life is filled with polarities of life experience. And what do they have in common? I get to experience them because I’m alive.

I am alive. That’s perhaps the only truth. Everything else just has the meaning (or story) that we give to it. For example, before I speak to a group I can notice that my palms are sweaty, my stomach is upset, my face is flushed and my knees are weak. One story I can give to all that is that I’m scared, afraid of failure, probably not good enough – and that maybe I shouldn’t “go on.” Or, I could notice all those physical experiences and choose to see them as expressions of excitement as I do something new and challenging…and then decide confidently walk on stage knowing that I’m here to experience life and share love as best I can.

Practice: The next time you’re feeling anxious or upset, change your story. Ask yourself: what story am I telling myself now? Is there another story that will be more pleasant and/or empowering? Give yourself a deep breath and experience the new story.

What you do on a daily basis adds up. In fact, it creates a life.

What you do once – it has an impact, though small it may be.

What you do day in and day out – that has a much bigger impact. And it gives shape to a life.

For example, what food do you give your body? Do you eat something with preservatives or other un-natural ingredients? Over a few years, they add up and accumulate in the body, often weighing us down physically and emotionally. Or, do you eat a lot of vegetables, grains and other natural foods? They add up to a health body that feels good.

This applies to our “mental body” as well. Do we exercise thoughts that produce anxiety daily? Over time, we get an anxiety-filled life. Or you could choose to practice joyful anticipation, trusting that Life will provide what you need to get to your next step. This builds a much more joyful journey.

So what do you want to create? A painting? Then paint a few strokes a day and in a few weeks or months – you’ll have your painting. How about a healthy, deep, loving relationship – with a friend or partner? Then DAILY contribute toward that goal with authentic communication or quality time together. Want to be a great basketball or piano player? Then practice your free-throws and scales daily.

What we do repeatedly, day after day, builds our goals and creates our life journey.

1. CHOOSE your daily actions. All of them.
2. CHOOSE your goals – what you want to have in a few weeks, months, years or decades.
3. And then act daily in support of those goals, even if it’s one small action a day over the course of a lifetime.

Practice: NOTICE what you’re doing daily. Once we become aware of what we’re doing daily, we have choice. Instead of doing things and thinking in ways that are rote, begin to choose them consciously.

Practice: CREATE a goal. Set a time you want it achieved. Daily create an action toward that goal. Schedule the time to take that action!

You are choosing to read this right now. You are choosing to be where you are. Every waking moment of every day, we are choosing. We are making choices. And even when we (think we) are not choosing what we’re doing, we’re still choosing our reaction to it.

Yes, choosing our reaction. Emotions move through us. Thoughts move through us. And WE CHOOSE which emotions and which thoughts to focus on. Sometimes it seems like they are controlling us. Really, we’re choosing. Don’t believe me? Here’s an example: someone cuts you off in traffic. You feel anger. You make the other person “bad.” You stay angry. Then you’d say, “this jerk cut me off in traffic and made me angry.”  Consider: what if you know that person was trying to get to the hospital to see a loved one who was just injured. Then you might feel compassion and forgiveness for him cutting you off – since he probably didn’t even see you clearly. WE CHOOSE what to focus on.

The more aware we are of what we are choosing, the more likely we are to make more conscious choices in the future, and the more likely we are to CREATE the moment to be more of what we want in life.

Practice: For 5 minutes, or a whole day…whenever you can remember to do so, say to yourself: “I am choosing…” and end the sentence with whatever it is you are actually doing in the moment or feeling. “I am choosing to cook.” “I am choosing to work here.” “I am choosing to feel joy.”